Neuro-Spicy Weddings: What to Include — And Why I Can Help

“When we started planning our wedding, as someone with Autism and ADHD I wanted to make sure we were creating a safe space for me but also for any of our guests who might benefit from it.

Weddings are often described as magical, romantic and the best day of your life.

They can also be loud, long, crowded, unpredictable, socially exhausting and completely overwhelming.

If you’re neurodivergent - or you’re marrying someone who is - there’s absolutely no reason your wedding needs to follow the traditional format.

In fact, designing a neurodiverse-friendly wedding can often make the experience better for everyone.

This is where I come in …

One of the biggest advantages of hiring a wedding celebrant is flexibility.

Rather than taking a one-size-fits-all approach, I can work with you to create a ceremony that suits your communication styles, your relationship and your needs.

I will ask questions about how you want the experience to feel, not just what you want the ceremony to contain.

I can explain what is going to happen, help you rehearse only the bits that need rehearsing, create scripts and prompts, and take some of the uncertainty out of the day.

And if you tell me, “I absolutely do not want to stand in front of everyone and talk about my feelings for 20 minutes,” I won’t look horrified.

I will say: “Excellent. Let's not do that.”

Start with the ceremony

The ceremony is one of the most emotionally significant parts of the day, but it can also involve a lot of sensory and social demands.

A good neurodivergent wedding ceremony can be designed around the couple rather than forcing you into a predetermined format.

That might mean:

• Knowing exactly what will happen and when.

• Having a clear ceremony structure in advance.

• Keeping unnecessary audience participation to a minimum.

• Building in moments to breathe.

• Avoiding forced interaction.

• Being mindful of lighting, sound and sensory triggers.

• Making entrances and exits feel comfortable rather than theatrical.

• Choosing whether you want to read your vows privately, together or in front of everyone.

• Having someone you trust nearby if you need support.

And perhaps most importantly: removing the expectation that you should perform happiness in a particular way.

You don't have to cry.

You don't have to make eye contact.

You don't have to stand still for 30 minutes.

You don't have to love being the centre of attention.

You just have to get married in a way that feels right for you.

On the day itself …

If you need five minutes alone, I’ll help protect that space. If you don’t want a stream of guests knocking on the door of your quiet room, I’ll guard it. If someone asks where you are when you’re having a moment, I’m perfectly happy to send them in completely the wrong direction. If a well-meaning relative decides that now is the perfect time to ask you a million questions, I can intercept them. And if something is happening that you didn’t agree to, I’ll speak up.

Sending your guests in the wrong direction, guarding the door of your quiet room, redirecting unwanted attention and speaking up for you in planning meetings are all part of the package - should you so wish.

If you want to have a chat about what feels overwhelming for you, get in touch for a friendly, no pressure call today.

Cat acted as my advocate for making sure planned breaks were added to the timeline.

Even when I didn’t feel like we had time for this, she focused on us as individuals and what we needed.”